One of the hardest lessons for me is to be still so I can heal. My body began breaking down in my early teens from too much trauma, being too much for the world I lived in and making reckless choices to escape my reality. I continued this pattern in varying degrees right up until around the age of 40. The result was a life less lived- a life filled with fatigue and pain from a myriad of diagnoses. The diagnoses were important to me because it validated how I was feeling for the people around me who I felt didn't acknowledge my disease. I was unaware at the time what my mindset was doing to me. I was unaware that I could change my story at any time to be healthy and thriving. That is why all of the diagnoses and don't really matter for me right now. What matters is the dis ease and pain stories I tell myself that keep me stuck and keep me in pain and fatigued.
When my mindset shifted, I began to wonder... what if it's not all about diet and supplements and exercise? Instinctively I knew it wasn't. I had spent years studying holistic nutrition and learning to eat a healthy plant based, alkaline diet. I stayed active and exercised regularly. I'd done everything right and the pain and fatigue had still come roaring back when trauma returned and I was saddened and stuck once again. I began practicing daily affirmations and mantras around my physical health and conditions. No longer does my story include all of the trauma and ailments. I cannot be still and I certainly cannot heal if I'm still living in an old story.
My awareness has helped me to understand that the pain and fatigue are my bodies way of signaling me that I've gone beyond my limit and I'm not on the correct path. Sometimes the limits come much too soon and I find it unfair. Like when I've planned a camping weekend because we all need to be in nature but everything hurts so badly I can't grip the steering wheel for the long drive, let alone sleep on an air mattress (ouch!). The resulting feelings are those of fear, disappointment, inadequacy and fatigue... all of which then create a vicious cycle that I find extremely challenging to pull myself out of.
I remind myself that this human body has the limitations- not my mind. I begin to shift my thoughts to positive, affirming, empowering ones and the pain lessens. I notice I can breath easier and my muscles unclench. I apologize to myself for not recognizing there were limits before making plans. I forgive myself for temporarily drowning in a sea of my tears and frustration. I move on and accept that all I can do is let the plant medicine work on the inflammation while I work on me.
I remove myself from it all, breathe and create a vision and story of perfect health for my subconscious mind to manifest into reality. I do this through meditation, affirmations, mantras, breath work and yoga. It is working- not as fast as I'd like at times but my cells are renewing and my body is healing. Most importantly, these practices keep me in in a mindful, content state. I spend 90% less time thinking and discussing my old story. Those stories no longer serve me well so I'm moving on.